“Am I nuts or does this look like the one place I would NOT want to spend the night”?!
I was watching the Bachelor on CBS last night (okay, I admit it!) and it was the night that the Bachelor Brad takes the 3 remaining women to a “fantasy Destination” to spend time with them before he chooses which 2 girls he would like to bring home to Mama. Before I start, I would like to say…I know this show has critics, because I am one of them. As much as I love to watch this show…I also criticize the heck out of it! It is fun, It is entertainment! And it is sooooo easy!
So last night the show took the Bachelor and the 3 girls to South Africa. His first date was with Chantal on a safari. It was awesome to see the wild animals and how close they were in their Safari Jeep. It looked like such an exotic fun experience. After dinner, Brad the Bachelor had a surprise for her. He delivered her the invitation to a “Fantasy Suite” where they could spend the night alone without the cameras, relax and “really” get to know each other (hey, get your minds out of the gutter!).
I have watched this show for years and each Fantasy Suite is better than the next. Seriously top notch rooms. Super impressive. On this season of the Bachelor, Brad took Chantal to the middle of a field and proceeded to show her the Fantasy Suite..a Tree House. YEP, that’s right. A Tree House. The Chalkley Treehouse at the Lion Sands Resort.
The Lion Sands website says –
“Guests are taken to the treehouse at sunset, where drinks and a delicious picnic dinner await them. They then enjoy the hours of African dusk relaxing and absorbing the beauty and sounds of the bushveld as it transforms from day to night, before turning in for slumber beneath the stars. As dawn breaks, guests are collected by their ranger for a morning game drive, followed by a delicious bush breakfast at one of the many animal and bird hides.”
Now in many circumstances this could be very romantic. A Tree House could set the mood for adventure. In fact, the bedding was gorgeous and the colors blended right into nature…BECAUSE IT WAS IN THE NATURE! THERE WERE NO WALLS AT ALL! TOTALLY in nature. My first thought….”WHERE DO I PEE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT!?”
Then the thoughts started rolling in….
Do Cheetahs climb trees? Can the Giraffes reach this far? Do Bats eat mesh? DO monkeys get tangled the mesh? OMG! Are they kidding! And it all comes back to “Where do I brush my teeth and pee?” SO they drop you off at sunset and leave you there all night until someone comes to get you at dawn? Okay…NOT HAPPENING! Romance is not how I would describe that. To me that would be torture. Waiting for the next sound, thump that makes the ground shake or buzzz that threatens to suck my blood. Relaxation is definitely not the word I would use to describe a night in the jungle. Terror would be a better description!
When I visited the website to try and find out where the bathroom would be (answer – there is a toilet bowl and bath sink!) I did see the main lodge and accommodations and they seemed more my speed.
But I still do have to ask one question….”If they have such a big mosquito net over a bed that is INDOORS…how is that flimsy little net in the Treehouse supposed to help at all?”